Quietly Cultured

Musings and contemplations of a gentleman without direction.

Thomas McNeeney

If I could move the hands of time,
For a moment that would just be mine.

I’d move them back just a few years,
To a time in life with far less tears.

Because how I’d smile to know I can,
Have one last drink with that old man.

We’d sit in silence, he & I,
And slowly watch the world go by.

Just one last drink, to say cheers,
For being there, for all those years.

One last hour, so that you knew,
Just how much that I’m missing you.

But if I got there, I’m pretty sure,
I’d stick around for just one more.

Until the tiny hours, after several fights,
We’d have put the world to rights.

And when I go, I won’t be sad,
I’d have the most worthwhile hangover I’ll ever have.

Oh lord how I wish I can,
Go for one last drink,
With that old man.

- Thomas McNeeney

She’s the butterflies in my stomach dancing,
She’s the goosebumps on my arms raising,
She’s the hair on the back of my neck standing,
She’s the involuntary smile to myself.

I never notice when she’s not there.

- Thomas McNeeney

Send me down the road my dear, with nought but gin in hand,

And I will find a new life dear, leave the life I’d planned.

I’d walk, happy with my choices, not doing as I was told,

Making friends along the way, I’d walk happy down the road.

Though that road it may be dangerous & underfoot may crack,

My spirit will pick me up again, for I won’t be coming back.

And walk I shall. Never stopping to settle or stay,

I’ll simply pack my things with a “I must be on my way”,

When I’ve walked it all, till I’m grey & old,

Take my dusty bones and toss them on the road.

- Thomas McNeeney

There’s a moment when I’m woken, by a ringing in my ear,

And a taste I can’t identify, somewhere between an ashtray & the fear.

There’s a moment of hesitation, is this the fault of mine or of the beer?

And at this painful moment, a sound from someone near,

Says ‘I didn’t think you’d still be here’.

- Thomas McNeeney

My feelings are so very far away from yours.

Not by distance but by time.

I’m still living in a past where nothing went wrong.

And we were happy.

You moved on.

Though you’re not happy.

So we’re quite close in that respect.

- Thomas McNeeney

She smiles. I melt.

She laughs. It’s music

She bites her bottom lip. Heart racing

She looks into my eyes. I’m home

She leaves. I should have said something.

- Thomas McNeeney

“Death is a horrid, vicious, destructive thing. That comes to us all and we can never escape. And no matter how many times we meet with her, she’s never any more welcome or her arrival any easier.”

My hand shakes, from deep within.

Like the earth shakes. Earthquakes.

Causing damage.

Causing problems.

Forces controlling nerves, connected to bones,

running like rivers down to fingertips.

Shaking because of the drink. The Drugs. The endless late nights. The Fear.

Yet here I am again, drink in shaking hand.

Forcing through smiles & false pleasantries.

You look great, we should catch up. I miss you.

I love you.

Lies. Twisted lies from a twisted mind.

Bent beyond repair but carefully held together

with a dangerously strong drink.

          - Thomas McNeeney